I mentioned in some previous comments that I’m always amazed and how people get fixated on “me” time as if it is some selfish thing that we are doing or should not need. As I ponder this, I wonder is it because it has the word “me” in it? We are not allowed to think of ourselves as anything but mothers, wives and, as in the case of my writer, workers. I’m born first an individual, if I’m lucky enough to have a husband than I can add the title of wife to that, and if we’re lucky enough, we have children and can call ourselves mothers. It’s important to nurture all of ourselves, because it makes us happier individuals with more to offer our families, our jobs and our friends. Our better education offers more to our children and families. People who fail to continue to educate themselves and develop themselves, often find themselves at a loss when their children grow up and they look in the mirror or into their spouses eyes.
In this thought process, and to make it less offensive, should I change “me” time to “personal” time or self-development time, or…? It’s all semantics folks, call it whatever you want. What it is, is time to think or do something for some period of time without an interruption every five seconds. (Some of us could accomplish this by stopping our TV watching…ha ha, commercial, commercial, commercial). There is a way for everyone.
The premise is this, we all need to revitalize ourselves. When we exercise, meditate, read a book, contemplate a cup of coffee or tea, we regroup and refocus so we can put our best foot forward. Every one needs personal time whether they want to admit it or not….and most likely those in denial of it are getting by some other means anyway.
And then there are those of us who think our children are so well behaved that we don’t need personal time. I wonder, are they raising robots? Or are they so consumed with the child, doing their homework, and driving them to activities, that they are reliving the childhood they left behind? I’d rather have the fire of a child who has opinions, personality and energy than a child who acts like a mini adult going along with the program….and believe me, I’ve seen both. A child is not an adult and should not act like one. Rebellion is part of learning and will determine your childs drive for whatever they decide to do in life. No drama, or as I interpret that, disagreements, is a strange family indeed. I prefer real humans who challenge me as a mom and as an individual. And I’ve got that times 6 when you add my husbands and my kids combined, and I’ve got nothing bad to say about it because they are all great and I’m blessed to have kids who have values and ethics.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: children, family, personal time, raising kids, troubles
Anytime that has nothing to do with anyone else other than just you is known as “ME” time. I am not saying that you are wrong, but if you do not correct children issue with them from day one, you would have a face a whole lot more. It is not running a robot, it is all about “the way”. For example, if you let your children lie, they will continue to do so as it works for their best interest each and every time. My children try that once, and that once was the last time, and never again since for a few years, simply because it back fired. It is up to the adults to show a sign of intelligence (showing that you could not be fooled with lies) or just act as foolish as a child believing into all kind of garbage talking and end up picking up soda cans for a living.
PS. Everyone standard is different with their definition of values and ethics, but assuming that you are dead on with the norm (which the majority of the family would agree), then good for you as you have yourself a great family with values and ethics, but you would have to tell us all more about your definition of it.
I really can’t consider any time when I don’t happen to have a child or another person with me personal time. Personal time or ‘me’ time is something completely different. It would be interesting to hear where you get yours or what you do to develop yourself personally so you have more to offer your family.
Children do not lie, they test things with their imaginations. It’s part of child development and the creative formative process. I love the stories they tell and encourage this. Older children may hide things but, and I think you would agree, the only reason to do this is because they have fear of the outcome. That’s where it is important to have trust in your relationships. As my husband would say, “It’s Okay to be afraid, but never let your fear stop you (from telling the truth or doing the things you want to do).”
What did you do when your children tried it on you?
Regarding Values and Ethics. Yes, you are right, everyone has different standards. When I make that kind of statement I’m talking very simple values, not religious or anything like that.
Things like, have consideration for others, tell the truth, protect your friends and family, don’t tolerate bullies, don’t cheat or help others cheat, have good sportsmanship, be patient and tolerant of others, try on the other shoe, think about how your words or actions might affect others, and things like that.
I’m often not sure anymore what the norm is considering the state of the economy and that it’s the result of greed and opportunists. Perhaps you have a succinct idea on that?
My children all get to lie once, the earlier the better, and never since then, because the result was very unpleasant, and much easier to get this over once and for all at super young age. All they need to know is that lying doesn’t work in this household and certainly does not get them anywhere at all without getting into nothing but trouble. As they age and manage to get away time after time (speaking of other people’s children and none mine), they get smarter off course and their lies become harder to verify and detect, unless you do the all out and do a full body search, or follow them around and spy on them, or being a pest yourself asking too many question that would even upset an adult, or turn their room upside down like a search order the the court, If you didn’t do my super early preventive measures, there is no way your children doesn’t lie at one point or another just to cover their own tracks.
Economy? Heading into a depression, with no proven method that anything would help including government intervention. We are all in the uncharted territory. My family would do just fine with excellent savings and staying within the FDIC maximum guidelines.
I’m still curious. What would your young child ‘lie’ about? Please tell me the lie that you caught and exactly what your method of correction is. What are your super early preventive measures?
And I think it will take more than savings to pull out of this economy….What is the FDIC maximum guidelines you mention that you would keep within? I’m wondering how that could be relevant.
By the way, I am for the “losers to lose and the winners to stay in business” idea, which means no bail out. There are people who do not trade stocks as they do not like any risk, and why should those who took those risks be helped by those who didn’t. In the stock market, some win and some lose, a way of life. If you could not afford anything, then don’t buy anything that you could not afford, simple. Buying on credit with the money that you do not have makes me sick to my stomach. and it is the basic to the problem with the economy as of this point.
I understand what you are saying, although it’s not quite that simple. I am against the bailout in principle, though I am unsure as to how this will affect the world economy.
Regarding the stock market see my post on Opportunity Cost.
It must be noted that people who write comments without legitimate emails may be hiding something.
And it appears you may be the one hiding since it is you can not provide a real story for readers about your ’super early preventive measures’. Or even the FDIC maximum you talk about. I can do my homework, but am more interested in your interpretation, which you gave when you talked about the stock market.
But I am still most interested in your unpleasant method of correcting errant children, since I quote your own words in your SEPM noted above.
The fact is, children are humans and may need to be guided (not corrected) to better ways of expressing themselves than others. Young children do not lie, so what is to correct, rather than play into their imaginations and where they are going with their thought processes? You sound very harsh, which is probably a reflection on your own upbringing.
I base my blog and the information I write here on my experience, my research and my education in early childhood education. I am very interested and have done quite a bit of studying of Waldorf Education methods which I think are very effective in early childhood development. My mother and some of her friends started the HomeStart program in California as a very grass roots organization many many years ago, so education has always been an influence in my family.
Perhaps you should consider more kindness in your approach. There are no problems, only solutions.